Domestic Violence Is Affecting Our Communities

It seems ironic that less than a month after commemorating October as Domestic Violence Awareness Month, we see headlines in the news describing three extremely serious domestic violence scenarios, each with its own tragic result.  According to affidavits and police reports, each of these incidents tells a story that not only affects us emotionally, but also threatens the safety and security of our communities and where we live.

On November 9 in Franklin Township, a New Brunswick man allegedly choked his girlfriend and bit her on the face after she refused to have sex with him following a night at a social event.  As he began choking her, she believed he was going to kill her and she grabbed a knife from the kitchen counter and stabbed him in the back.  She was then able to get away and waited for the police to arrive.

On November 14, a man in Bridgewater entered his estranged wife's home to confront her about their marriage difficulties.  He told his 16-year old daughter "only one person is going to survive", then when he surprised his wife in the home, he strangled her to stop her from screaming.  She lost consciousness, and he stopped when he heard banging on the front door.  He then dragged her to the garage with a rope wrapped around her neck.  She was resuscitated by police but died later in the hospital.

And on November 18, a Somerville man barricaded himself in the bathroom of his home following a domestic dispute.  The Somerville Police responded and activated the Somerset County SCERT (Somerset County Emergency Response Team.)   They were able to gain entry and take him into custody without incident or violence.  Area homes were evacuated or put in lockdown and the potential for gunfire was high, except for the professionalism and restraint exercised by the police.

Retired Bridgewater Police Lieutenant Anthony Winchatz, now serving as the Director of Public Relations for the Resource Center of Somerset, has high praise for the law enforcement response in each case.  He offers, “In all three cases, police demonstrated a highly professional and sound combination of police work, compassion and restraint.  During a crisis, emotions are high and danger levels are elevated, and being able to bring about a quick and efficient resolve to these incidents is what makes us proud of the law enforcement officers who protect us and our communities in Somerset County.”

But what are the lessons learned from these tragedies and how do we move forward to prevent incidents like these from repeating themselves?  One place to begin finding answers is to acknowledge that domestic violence is one of the most pervasive social problems we face in our communities.  One in every four women will experience domestic violence sometime in her lifetime.  In New Jersey, according to the 2011 NJ Uniform Crime Report, over 70,000 domestic violence offenses were reported to the police.  Over 29,000 offenses were assaults and 40 were intimate partner homicides.

The responsibility for making change lies with individuals and civic organizations, social service agencies, law enforcement and the courts, legislative representatives and the media.  Each has a role, yet none can do it alone.  Domestic violence is a community issue, one that needs to be taken seriously.  It takes its toll, not only on victims but with witnesses and bystanders as well.  Lives are lost, injuries suffered, and the sense of well-being that allows people to thrive shattered.  Children are affected, often developing emotional problems, having difficulty learning in school or misperceiving that violence is simply a part of a relationship.  Domestic violence carries severe consequences that can cross generations and truly last a lifetime.

The common thread is awareness and communication.  These incidents each create an opportunity for discussions about relationships and learning experiences for everyone.  Talking about domestic violence can be “uncomfortable,” let’s change that.  Information is empowering, it allows us all to make better choices and better decisions. 

Community education is important.  By the end of the year, the Resource Center of Somerset will reach thousands of people through program presentations, email news briefs, website postings and social media with information about awareness, prevention and how to seek help if you are a victim of domestic violence. 

The legislature creates laws to protect victims and the law enforcement community and the courts enforce those laws and hold abusers accountable for their actions.  Police officers responding to domestic violence at the moment of crisis are truly among the most important influences as to how victims and abusers move forward.

The media can be one of the most influencing factors of all.  Journalists have the opportunity to cover domestic violence stories in greater depth, going beyond the crime and exploring the broader issues of domestic violence.  Domestic violence is a special category of offense and it is important to differentiate it from random acts of criminal behavior. 

We all can make a difference.  It is critical to speak up against domestic violence.  Break the cycle.  Carrying the message teaches the next generation that violence is wrong. 

Christine Schaumburg

Executive Director

Resource Center of Somerset

Help & Hope for people affected by domestic abuse