Picking on the Anti-Bullying Laws

Bullying. Bullying in schools. This topic got me going. So now there are anti-bullying laws, but there’s a problem: the way they are written in New Jersey,  No funding for the law; well, then it’s unconstitutional, starting 60 days from the date of the ruling, which was on Jan. 27.

It's great that people want the schools to be "watch dogs" for bullying. Heck, I don’t want my kid to be picked on either. And sometimes kids do need to have adults intervene to get the bullies of their backs. 

However, to me, the law approach is causing a lot more red tape: official reporting of bullying incidents up the chain of command in schools with written documentation (so the schools won’t be sued for unintentional mishandling a bullying incident), and now minor events (normal teasing) are required to be reported. 

Yes, I said “normal” teasing. Come on; those of us who have had brothers and sisters know that there is some name calling or swiping toys from one another. That’s just a part of life. It teaches kids how to stick up for themselves, and also, should prompt their parents to jump in when necessary to stop the nonsense, lay down the law of the house, and show the kids there are consequences when they don’t treat someone the way they would like to be treated.

Back when I was a kid, a simple solution like separating the picker-onner and the recipient of the harsh words or offending actions on the bus or in the classroom, so they are not seated near each other if they name call, would have been enough. But no, that’s not how it’s handled anymore. If a child turns to a teacher, school staff member, or bus driver to say that Johnny was bonking her on the head with his backpack in the school yard, then that adult has to officially report the incident to the school.

I think here, that telling Johnny he needs to stop using his backpack as a weapon of mass destruction or he will find himself sitting inside during recess may be a better response to the situation. And not just telling him, but following through with the actions of that consequence is extremely important.

To me, telling Johnny to please stop doesn’t do a darn thing. Johnny may listen for a day or even a week, but he’ll do it all over again when someone isn’t watching, to the same child, or someone else. Why? Because there were no real consequences for his behavior the first time around. What was the consequence? Some paperwork was filed and he was told “no?" Bullying won’t be stopped that way.

Anti-bullying presentations? Ok, they’re fine. They are a pre-emptive strike. But when Jenny is feeling hyper and thinks pulling on Becky’s pigtails just looks like fun, sorry, I’m willing to bet she’s not going to be thinking about the anti-bullying seminar and she’ll yank Becky’s hair repeatedly anyway. Kids are kids.

I'll never forget a principal I had in first grade. It was back in the 1980s. I so admire the man. If kids were picking on other kids, he went right up to them, no warnings, and said, "That's it! If you can't find anything better to do with your time, come with me!" And he took the bullies into his office (back when going to the principal's office actually meant something and kids feared that). Then, the offenders were given detention. There was no consideration made that the bullies might miss ballet lessons, or an after-school activity. The principal or vice principal called the child's parents, and they were informed that they had to come pick their child up after detention. No excuses. 

Kids had to sit in a classroom, supervised by a teacher, and do things like bang out erasers, or wash chalkboards, and write 100 times "I must not call Jenny or John a bad name." And you know what? It was very effective.

I’m not proposing that a law be written to spell out that the first offense for someone calling another names is detention, and the second offense is community service.  What I am proposing is that we go back to a time when common sense prevailed and adults would stick up for the underdog and not be afraid to do it. Seems to me everyone is just standing on the sidelines behind laws that can’t be enforced.

It’s time to empower the teachers and school staff so they can stop the bullying nonsense effectively, without worrying if they will be sued for showing kids there are consequences for picking on others. No budget required.